I Love The Witcher. I Hate The Witcher. Episode 0

How I Met Your Witcher

This is the first entry in a weekly breakdown of The Witcher series created by Netflix. Don’t forget to subscribe for future updates!

I have a lot of feelings about The Witcher.

I first experienced the witcher’s world via The Witcher 3, in 2015. It was my first big, open-world game, and I was hooked immediately. Several years later, I began reading the books, and I learned there was so much more to this world and its characters than the game could convey.

While I was reading the series, the Netflix adaptation was released, and I was mostly excited. There was some kerfuffle online about tokenism in casting, but you always hear about that sort of thing, and I wasn’t too worried. Plus, famous nerd and Witcher fan Henry Cavill had been cast in the lead! Some people were concerned that an actor who had portrayed Superman couldn’t transfer to the stoic witcher, but I wasn’t. Zack Snyder’s Superman was so staid and bland, I had no doubt Cavill could enhance that into the witcher’s quiet intensity.

So the series started, and I was excited. I won’t go into too much detail today, but the first episode had me interested in watching the rest of the season. It wasn’t perfect, but the fight choreography and Cavill’s performance were solid.

Sadly, things only went downhill from there.

I could just reread the books, which I love, and write about them, but I want to examine the Netflix adaptation and work through why I want to throw up when I think about watching it.

Reacting to the show provides a better foundation for what I want to say. Elements that the writers chose to include, remove, or change reveal what they thought was valuable from the books. And they missed the point so thoroughly that I wonder if they chose The Witcher out of a hat, with no prior knowledge of the work.

This essay series won’t be about tallying up what the show runners got “right” or “wrong,” though I will touch on those aspects (I can’t help it myself). I intend to focus on the missed opportunity this show represents. They took a considered, philosophical fantasy epic and shred it to the bone for their own incomprehensible goals.

I will be thoroughly biased in this analysis. There’s no avoiding it. I may mock the writers, but they function as an avatar of all heartless adaptations. I don’t intend to disrespect them as individuals, but I also do not have much respect for the work they have created.

Maybe that’s illogical or hypocritical. I’m going to be working through my internal inconsistencies in this essay collection, as well.

These books and this show and that game and these characters and this world have given me hours of deep joys and pains. I hope these essays can reflect a portion of what I feel for Sapkowski’s work, and you will understand why I grieve the filmic adaptation that cannot exist until this series is long behind us.

Each week, from now until I finish the available series, I will publish a reaction to one episode. I don’t have much more of a plan than that, so it may change over time.

I won’t be comparing the Netflix adaptation directly with the books or the games, but I will bring as much of my knowledge to bear as I can. I will be writing as if my audience is aware of the lore already, so be prepared for spoilers. However, I think I can avoid the sort of spoilers that would ruin a first-time reading experience.

If there is anything you would particularly like me to touch on, don’t hesitate to let me know! I have plenty to say on my own, but this will be much more fun if it’s interactive.

Until next time.